I May or May Not Have the Power!
All sorts of fun today! At work, the phones went out in the morning and didn’t come back until the afternoon. (Not our fault, there was a problem with a circuit affecting several businesses.) Then at 11:30, the power went out in our building and buildings nearby; Duke Energy was having a rough day. That got fixed by 1pm. Was kinda hoping for the afternoon off.
Despite all those shenanigans, we cleared a lot of tickets because the three of us here in Tier 2.5 know what we are up to and work well as a team. Both the team lead and the IT head dropped by to express appreciation of our work; I eat that up. Tell me on a regular basis you’re really happy with the job I’m doing, and you’ll get even harder work from me.
When I got home, Roxy had to leave immediately to cover some errands with our friend Vikorgi, and I had an hour to shoot stuff on-screen, which I enjoyed immensely. Cleared some old quests, and tried to grind another level for a difficult task, but the XP in that zone wasn’t enough to really help. No matter, I love watching under-leveled bad guys drop like flies. Then The two of them returned and Roxy put together an amazing peanut chicken dinner. I practically gobbled it down.
Vikorgi wanted to watch “Minions”, and I have to say I don’t think it held up against the Despicable Me movies that preceded it, but whatever. I headed back to the bedroom for some writing, and out of nowhere my jerkbrain started screaming at me about everything in the world I felt at all insecure about, which flattened me. I forced myself to brain-medicate, which helped, but that’s a tranquilizer. After a long, busy day, the meds knocked me right out.
Here’s hoping the weekend is more productive on my personal projects.
Gyro Hit
Lord Bitweaver’s Journal, 6th of Colddark, 716
I’m barely keeping my eyes open before bed tonight. Another long hard-working day at the bit mines has caught up with me. Roxy and I also headed out after work to meet a friend for some (delicious) Greek dinner and an exchange of items that had to go to various cons. The food and the company were both top-notch; nothing to complain about there except maybe the hour’s drive to meet them halfway.
Emotionally, all over the place tonight. One moment I’m feeling empowered by my personal projects, the next fatalistic. I’ve been feeling a lot that for every moment of fun I get to have lately, I’ve been spending hours of responsibility and anxiety; and the imbalance is affecting my outlook a bit. Roxy agrees that we need to make some changes; of course, as I mentioned, I’ll be talking to a doctor about my chemical balance ASAP.
But Roxy thinks we could also use a vacation, a real one where we don’t even watch the budget carefully. I’m all in favor of course, but it will be quite some time before we can afford anything like that, so it’s being filed under “pipe dream” for the time being.
Hope the morning’s warmer tomorrow. Nearly froze my face off in 22-degree weather this morning, and managed to lose my gloves today to boot. I honestly miss the 75-degree weather we were having around Christmas.
Corduroy Trout
Lord Bitweaver’s Journal, 5th of Colddark, 716
Void, it’s cold outside. All that joking I did about those 75-degree temperatures around Christmas? It was with love! You can come back! Please?
Worked myself crazy today, and I wasn’t the only one. It was an all-day battle to keep the ticket queue acceptable, forget good: and the day finished off nicely with an on-site visit that turned out to be simply a loose cable. Yeah, I asked them to check it over the phone beforehand. Couldn’t have just come loose, either. People are playing with stuff.
Made really good mashed potatoes tonight to go with the slow-cooker turkey Roxy made. Dinner was tasty and filling, at least for a moment. I’ve been eating like a starving man all day; I can only assume my body needs it. Maybe that’s why I felt weak all weekend… but I haven’t exactly been fasting. Still don’t know what’s going on.
Watched some Akibaranger with a friend – I never get tired of that show – and last night’s Steven Universe (we’re getting them on one- or two-night delay because of the way they’re posted to iTunes). Steven Universe continues to be beautiful; the story of Ruby and Sapphire’s relationship made Roxy and me both squee. Homeworld Gems are like Time Lords. They sound really cool at first; but the more you learn about them, the more you realize you really wouldn’t want to spend much time with most of them.
Realized what was holding me back on Episode Eighteen: I know some things I want to say but I really hadn’t decided what it’s going to be about. Gave that some thought today, maybe more in the shower tomorrow. I won’t have writing time tomorrow, but there’s always Thursday. Dang, I’m behind and unhappy about it. I did learn from my head that a popular game fish seen on the tables of Managlitch is called “corduroy trout”. I can only assume that’s descriptive, not literal – without glitching, anyway.
Dinner tomorrow with Roxy and a friend. Looking forward to it; I hope work doesn’t hit too hard.
Blood Sugar Betrayal
Lord Bitweaver’s Journal, 4th of Colddark, 716 —–
Today started reasonably well, other than me mistaking which side of the windshield was frozen over. I had to stop a bit down the street to scrape off what I thought had collected on the inside.
First day of work for the New Year. I worked hard, but I wasn’t drained by it; in many ways those are my favorite weekdays. I have quite a work ethic considering how lazy I am. A lot of the work is learning how to work with our new Help Desk; these people are so skilled even for Tier One that we’ll be able to off-load a lot of our tickets to them and become Ticket Managers and Expert Troubleshooters. I am completely in favor of this.
Plans changed abruptly for the evening, and that may be just as well. I had an earlier dinner than I expected and crashed bad at 6:30. Didn’t recover until after 7:30, which would have interfered with with the social activities I was expecting. Roxy very much wants me to talk to my doctor about how tired I’ve been lately. She’s worried it’s thyroid.
Before I go to bed tonight, at least a few hundred words on Episode Eighteen. I’m frustrated by how slow the words have been coming lately, and my evening of relaxation last night to refresh the well didn’t go as planned. But: never give up, never surrender.
The Space of Hyper
Lord Bitweaver’s Journal, 3rd of Colddark, 716
Once again, I woke up a bundle of nerves. When Roxy suggested, “Time to get out of bed?” my knee-jerk response was “What’s in it for me?”
Some lunch helped a bit of course, as it always does, and a couple hours of the afternoon wasted away before we realized it was time to run errands. I have to fill my gas tank far less often now thanks to my five-minute commute, but it eventually gets low, and Costco had a great price today. A small grocery stop later, and it was time for dinner. McCormick sloppy joes, which weren’t bad.
But today was going to be an afternoon of relaxing, so I loaded up a alpha test video game I’d been invited into… and they were shut down for the holidays. Okay, fine, I loaded up my second favorite tension-killer game… only to discover I’d found a sudden ramp-up in the campaign difficulty, dying again and again. I finally said to hell with it. Never mind tension relief.
I’m a bundle of nerves these days. If it weren’t for my brain meds, I’d be non-functional; as it is, I’m slowly losing joy in many of the things that made life happier. Usually it’s because they all require massive outlay of resources on my part that I just don’t have at the moment. I don’t have a solution right now, though clearly I’ll have to find one. One trip to a mental hospital was more than enough for me, thanks.
Work tomorrow. I’m almost thankful.
Costumes and Music Past
Lord Bitweaver’s Journal, 2st of Colddark, 716
Today I spent half the day in bed feeling cold and drained. Once I finally got moving, I then spent too much of the evening grocery shopping. It needed to be done, but I’m a “surgical-strike” kind of shopper while Roxy is more a methodical “go carefully through every aisle in case anything’s forgotten” type. There’s something to be said for both, but when I’m already on a short fuse, the second version can get on my nerves.
Before the shopping, we had a very decent meal at Applebees thanks to a Christmas gift card from our friends Mako and Missy. I tipped well even though the service wasn’t great because it wasn’t utterly awful and wait staff are paid shit. I an not comfortable with someone having trouble meeting their bills this month just because they accidentally refilled me with Diet Pepsi the one time. (Blech.)
Starting to plan for MarsCon, where I’ll be performing with Luna-C. I hope we get a show script soon, because I’d like to practice a lot more ahead of time than I’ve done in the past. I’m also worried because of all the weight I’ve put on – so few of my costumes fit right now. (My old Next Gen Engineering tunic looked terrible when I tried it on New Year’s Eve – luckily my First Contact uniform looked a lot better.)
I really can’t wait to see Keith Brinegar again. His filk performance as White Plectrum was a huge part of my life for a while: lyric writing, soundboard, webmastering, graphic design – being White Plectrum’s “Spin Doctor” kept me busy and happy! It’s been years and years, and I can’t wait to introduce Roxy to him.
So much to do this month. I hope I can find the energy and motivation to kick jerkbrain’s ass and Get Stuff Done.
Sunbottom’s Day
Lord Bitweaver’s Journal, 1st of Colddark, 716
Today I spent time either gloriously wasted or well-spent on the foundations of a series bible for “Captain Shadow”. Maybe it will prove to be too much distraction from the chronicling of Managlitch City, but the urge to write space opera again has been growing in me. I want to do audio dramas, or even (dare I dream) video productions for the web. Space opera is my first love, and while as always it will be tons of work, it could be tons of fun.
I know why the Captain suffers from their morphic events, I know what the Voidknife exterior looks like, and I have a semisolid idea who is chasing zem. I haven’t yet decided on hir pronouns, though Roxy Ozone thinks I should shift them all the time to reflect the confusion surrounding the Captain and the crap that transpeople have to deal in real life.
I do need to get back to Episode Eighteen as soon as possible, but I’m not about to turn down creative ideas for anything when I get them.
The Macross Delta preview was great – new shiny Valkyries PLUS magical girls (though it’s all tech in this story) but it looks like we’re getting the two-dimensional bastards as bad guys we’ve been seeing in Macross for a while. The Victorian Christmas Special for Sherlock was the best thing I’ve seen from that show since Season Two at least, so total yay. The meta-text was wonderful, the repeated point that Watson is far more intelligent than often portrayed was appreciated, and I did not expect a reference to a Holmes novel by Nicholas Meyer. Nicely done.
My Starfleet past has been popping into my life a lot recently. I wore one of my uniforms for the first time in years to a New Year’s costume party, and got compliments from people who were expecting me in a dress. I just edited a new e-book version of the Multiverse Cycle, and I’m wanting to build the replacement Pathfinder model kit again. It’s nice to be getting some enjoyment again from that part of my history.
Physically and emotionally, I’ve been feeling like CRAP for weeks. Roxy wants me to talk to my doctor about checking my thyroid or something. I’ll try anything to kick loose this cloud of bleh.
And that’s Colddark first.
From the Archives
There is a Star Trek fan club called Starfleet. Once upon a time, a chapter in Lynchburg, Virginia spawned multiple daughter chapters in nearby cities such as Roanoke, Blacksburg, Hampton, and Bluefield. We all enjoyed pretending to be futuristic starship crew, and that all our chapters were part of a squadron of ships assigned to the most unusual missions. It didn’t take long at all for us to start writing fiction about these ships, and even un-subtly working in many references to our other sci-fi and fantasy favorites.
Over the course of six or seven years, some of this fiction turned into 100,000 words of interlinked storytelling covering multiple chapters, dozens of characters, and many alternate science-fiction universes. We were pretty shameless. But you know, looking at it two decades later… it’s not bad! We’ve all grown as authors since then, but you can tell we were on our way. I’m pretty proud of our hard work, and I think Tom, Beth, and Jerry should be too.
By an odd coincidence, this month I decided I needed to learn how to make an e-book, for… no special reason. And what better place to practice than with this material that would need clean-up, formatting, and other new skills. And here’s there result: 1993’s “The Multiverse Cycle”, in its complete form for the first time in 22 years. And due to matters of copyright, free to anyone who’d like a look.
The Multiverse Cycle in EPUB format for iOS, Nook, and other readers
The Multiverse Cycle in MOBI format for Kindle and other readers
Check your documentation for details on adding these books to your e-reader library. And – enjoy!
“A man is the sum of his memories, you know.”
In 2004, I left my hometown of Roanoke, VA behind to take a great IT job and build a new life for myself. The old life was pleasant but not really going much of anywhere. I don’t like stagnation, I don’t like living in a rut; if my near-fatal car accident over a decade before had tought me something, it’s that one ought to be doing *something* with one’s limited time on the Earth.
Well, in 2015 I left Hampton Roads, VA to take a great IT job and try to build a new life for myself. In the nine jobs and six living spaces in between, I sure hadn’t managed much stability, but I had certainly been doing something. Life had thrown at me more life-threatening physical illnesses, new loves, new friends and stronger bonds with older ones, a life-threatening mental illness; but most importantly, over a decade more of self-knowledge.
I’ve missed a lot of opportunities in the last eleven years, but I’ve also made some amazing things happen, and I understand myself better than I ever have. This self-knowledge (and let’s face it, some prescribed medication) makes the challenges of life a touch easier to take and gives me the chance to be a better person. It’s hard-won knowledge, though. I have the scars.
Yesterday I finished cleaning out the spare bedroom I’d slept in for four years before finding work here in North Carolina. With Maya’s help and a lot of elbow grease, I removed the last traces of my presence. It was like I’d never been there. In fact, now every place I’ve ever lived can make the same claim; besides the apartment I rent now, no living space says “Michael was here” in any meaningful fashion. I don’t like that; it’s unsettling.
But, if nothing else, it brings to sharp relief that it’s futile to look back. Keep moving forward, keep trying to do something with your days, keep working to improve and keep showing people you love them. That’s the biggest lesson taught to me by the last forty-six years.
The Fallout of a Podcast
Managlitch City Underground Episode Thirteen is done and out on the Interwebz, and this seemed like a good place to talk about making the podcast itself. I use a fairly nice microphone plus Audacity and GarageBand to record the show. The baseline is just me in character rambling about the weirdness that is life in Managlitch, but to keep it interesting I have guest stars every couple of episodes: usually friends I know can act and that have recording equipment. Technically it’s working out well. I don’t think it sounds 100% professional, but luckily for me it doesn’t have to – MGCU is a pirate radio station, and isn’t always going to have perfect sound.
I grab my sound effects from public domain and creative commons sites that don’t require pay or attribution. My favorite source so far is actual Mercury space mission chatter used as ambient noise in Episode Three. I stumbled into the perfect theme tune by accident when my friend Tom Monaghan posted one of his latest musical compositions; he wouldn’t even let me pay him to use it.
Those are the technical details, but I’m here to talk about the writing. Deep dark secrets of the creative process will be revealed here, so turn away if you don’t want to know what’s behind the curtain. Still with me? Good.
When I started, I knew very little about the City or the people in it. I knew I wanted to write about a world where weird happened every day and people just adapted, as humans are wont to do. MGCU became a pirate radio broadcast because I could make that a one-man show and have the technical excuses mentioned above. But above all, I wanted it to become a real place, a place that made a certain kind of sense and held together. There are lots of fantasy cities out there which don’t work too well once you look past the immediate narrative. Those worlds would quickly break down if you took them seriously at all, and sometimes that’s fine, because that’s not the point of the setting. I wanted to try something different.
To my great surprise and pleasure, the setting and the plot grew and developed around the characters and crazy events as I wrote them. I found that I had to make more and more assumptions to keep the wheels of Managlitch turning, and that was wonderful because these assumptions gave me new things to write about. I believe I owe a debt to the writing style of Douglas Adams, who had a habit of assuming that all his paragraphs would eventually fit together somehow and didn’t fret too much about it. I don’t say I’m doing it as well as he did, but he was an inspiration.
Then, in the middle of a script, I realized what I wanted the story of Managlitch to really be about. Or rather, I discovered what I’d unconsciously wanted it to be about all the time, because the seeds are there from the very first episode. In a way, it’s a little sad, because what I’ve learned about the plot and characters means those characters are going to have to suffer more than I’d expected them to when I originally dreamed them up. I hate to do it to them, but now that I really know the story I’m telling, there’s no way around it.
I’m having these thoughts because “Fallout” was the first script I wrote really knowing what was in store. A friend who knows some of Managlitch’s secrets says that it’s pretty clear in this one that some of Glenn SevenFiftyFive’s remaining innocence (and he wasn’t especially innocent as it was) has been taken from him. That’s because the writer’s lost some of his as well, and it’s reflected in the speeches the characters make. Frankly, it’s made this episode a little hard to finish. But if I’m going to write about a real world, with real characters – even a world as weird as Managlitch – then the training wheels come off at some point.
I’m sticking with it, of course. I know I have some loyal fans, and even I don’t know exactly how many things in the story are going to turn out. The only way for everyone to find out is for me to write it, and I still need to say those things I’m going to say. This project has been an incredible learning experience for me, and I do mean a positive one. I’ve been a writer for almost forty years now; it’s well past time I started to grow as one.
