Pre-dawn Wednesday, our office blew its hot water heater. Efforts to fix matters have only made it worse, we can’t shut off the sink, and now the ladies’ bathroom is rapidly taking on water.
We have rechristened the office “Her Majesty’s Ship The Titanic“. Sentries have been posted with orders to shoot Celine Dion on sight.
Secrets of the lost Keeble masters
Only after 13 straight hours of staring into these monitors will the phrase “Ahhh, Elfhopper, I see your cookie-fu is strong” make an entire room of people giggle hysterically.
We are now building an advanced school of self-defense based on the products of the cookie aisle at the supermarket.
Law & Order
Went to court this morning over the license tags I forgot to renew. (Actually, there’s a *lot* more to that story, but it’s not worth ranting about here.)
So, I walked up to the metal detector (it did pick up my metal hip) and the police lady says in a monotone: “Please place in this tray any metallic items such as keys, change, nail implements, foil or foil cigarette packs…”
I start unloading my pockets so that I can prove that the beep really is my hip, then I realize she’s continuing: “… knives, handguns, rifles, grenades, machine pistols, assault rifles, anti-aircraft weaponry, portable nuclear devices, fighter jets, tanks…”
I look incredulously at her and she gives me a “Gotcha” grin. I had to smile back. Plus, once in court, I didn’t get fined or anything either. For a court appearance, this wasn’t so bad.
Ninja Missions
All right, ninjas… your new orders have come in and you may find them here…
http://www.masterninja.com/weapons/mission/
I’d tell you which one I got, but I’m afraid I’d have to kill you.
Darkness falls on Sanrio
Hey barb, after you’ve weaned Alex from Power Ranger checkers and Pokemon chess, you can teach him this game! (click here for a larger image)
Hey! Stop laughing when we’re making fun of you!
A group of American Indian (and other) students at Northern Colorado University have created a team logo and mascot supposedly intended to educate the public about how hurtful ethnic stereotypes are: the NCU “Fighting Whites”.
However, in an unfortunate twist to their message, the t-shirts seem to be selling well to all ethnic persuasions – white people included.
http://www.cafepress.com/fightinwhite/ is the address, for the curious out there.
Topical humor
This page at this web link claims to have acquired a recording of the new voice mail announcment for Enron. Judge for yourself, if you feel like it.
