Declaring a vent order
Just read an article yubbie posted elsewhere on the impending return of Battlestar Galactica… it’s a somewhat annoying article, full of smug talk like “we’re taking the opera out of space opera”, and “our spaceships won’t go woosh”, and “we’ll never do a time-travel story”, and “no bumpy-headed aliens”.
It makes me want to grab them by the throat and say, “Look – you morons!” Since the days when our hide-clad ancestors squatted around a fire and told stories of the gods to avoid thinking about how cold and hungry they were, storytelling has only needed two elements: engaging characters, and a stong plot (in fact, if you’ve done one of those elements extremely well, you can often skimp on the other).
If you’ve got those elements, you can do anything else you want. Technobabble? Fine, the fen will compose dictionaries for their own amusement. Bumpy-headed aliens? Makes it easier to tell ’em apart. Time travel? I’ll just point out that time travel is at the core of much of the favorite science-fiction and fantasy of the last 40 years.
Stop telling us what you won’t do, and show us some damn good writing. Do that, and all else will be forgiven.
While I’m in the mood to rant… yesterday, I was once again informed by a younger fan how lame classic Star Trek was, which is something I’m so sick of hearing. Kid, maybe the show isn’t to your taste, which is your right as a language-using primate. But I challenge you to find me a better science-fiction show with a continuing set of characters on late 1960’s American network television. Can’t think of one? Fine, then don’t blame a Ford Model T because it couldn’t break 100 miles per hour and didn’t have a CD player.
Aaaaahhhhh… that felt good.
The Distributed Proofreading project aims to speed up the proofreading of Project Gutenberg E-texts by having computer users all over the world proof a page each. Good idea, contributes to the literary legacy of the world.
A reader on macslash.org suggested that the next sensible evolution of this idea would be for “Enterprise” writers to post parts of unfilmed scripts, and then we could all point out the glaring holes and inconsistencies.
Actually… I sorta like that last idea.
Ensign Crusher, report to the Torpedo Bay for testing…
In the “Has it been that long since Stand By Me?” department, the Joy of Tech web comic released this movie poster celebrating our favorite Bridge ensign’s 30th birthday. Pay no attention to that glowing crystal in your palm, Wil.
Web-comic thoughts
I am jealous of Barb and Chris’ upcoming cartoonist fame, so I went and found the old Artificial Intelligence strips Tom Monaghan and I collaborated on.
*sigh* It’s not that I’m not still proud of the work, it’s just that the jokes all seemed funnier back in 1987.
Spent today catching up on Mac Hall… that strip can be pretty dang funny sometimes. Even smiled at the Digimon porn. Bad Boys of Computer Science just didn’t do anything for me, though. By the way, if a hi-resolution version of “Bob’s Quick Guide to the Apostrophe, You Idiots” was on a t-shirt, I’d own three of them.
The artist of Mac Hall did a total conversion, “Marathon: RED”, for Bungie Software’s Marathon Infinity shooter game – some of the best bitmapped art that game’s ever seen. I was hoping to get the Aleph One:SDL version working to show meiran, but the Windows port is still just too buggy. Maybe next time she’s close to a Macintosh.
While digging through my files, I also found the digital file of my game card… yes, I am a card in the Star Trek Collectible Card Game. The original artwork is by Chris Impink, and alert people can see where I got my default LJ user icon from.
I cannt tyype…
I meant to say that MiB 2 was not as good as the first one.
Also, I’m glad that I’ll finally get to play Voyager: Elite Force holomatch with Rain. Of course, she’ll find her groove in about a game and a half and start kicking my butt, but at least I can spawn a cube’s worth of Borg to help out if it starts getting too humiliating.
The more things change…
This train of thought began as I watched Adobe Photoshop go through a complicated scripting sequence without any assistance from me… I began thinking of Rick Deckard’s wonderful photo-processing “Esper” machine. (Yes, I want one.)
So, I’m thinking about Blade Runner and the fact that, in an unscientific poll of science-fiction fans, I’m one of the few viewers who prefer the theatrical release to the director’s cut. (Voiceover, less uncertain ending, and all).
I’m not going to debate the merits of the two versions here, though it has occurred to me that it is the theatrical release that made Blade Runner one of the classics of SF film (and made it possible to produce a director’s cut release, before DVDs made such releases common).
However, the discussion of the versions made me think about how we revise things in our heads. I watched hours of the old Robotech series last weekend, but used the remote to skip over the dull, boring, or actually painful parts. (Yes, I’m referring to Minmei.) The Internet produced the “Phantom Edit” version of Star Wars Episode I – in many opinions, a superior film. Douglas Adams himself wrote multiple variants of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – all official, and all contradictory.
Then, while looking up information on Apple’s “Final Cut Pro”, I found this web page that compares such revisions to the Bible itself, where the Gospels contradict each other and concentrate on the parts that the individual writers found interesting. And I realized that people have been arguing about this for nearly two thousand years.
So, the next time I go to a con and find an earnest discussion of how Enterprise has re-written the established history of the Star Trek universe, I’ll be less likely to jump in with both feet. If we’ve been revising our most sacred texts to personal taste for this long, Kirk and Picard don’t have much of a chance. *grin*
Yes, I have a lot of driving to do this weekend
Imagine a world where the Star Trek transporter had been absolutely perfected, to the point where it was as safe and as easy to use as a telephone. To go somewhere, you find the nearest booth, stick a dollar in the slot for a local trip, up to $25 or $50 for international travel, and punch in a 12-digit number. Before you have time to get your hand 2 inches away from the “enter” key, *blink* and you are there.
Telephone-booth-sized units are spaced every few blocks in urban and suburban areas – wider spread in rural and wild areas. If you live anywhere that has decent phone or Internet service in the real world, going anywhere is a matter of walking a block or two, using the booth, then walking another block or two. Show-offs have their own booths (in locked waiting rooms, of course – no point in inviting thieves into your home). The local super mega-mall has four or five. Large travel centers have dozens.
The SF writer Larry Niven wrote a half-dozen stories about this situation, and its effect it has on society. Private cars disappear. In crime, the idea of the alibi is no more – you can leave the dinner table to use the bathroom, kill someone in another state, and be back before anyone notices you’re gone. You can now work in New York City and come home every evening to your house in the Rockies.
There would be issues, there always are; but I’d like it. There’s so many people I want to meet, so many places I want to go – I’d just love to be able to phone a friend in Britain and say, “Hey, are you busy? I’d like to come by this evening.”
Like everything else in the 21st century, this desire of mine is the Internet’s fault.
Left the geeks alone in the lab again, huh?
Looks like some folks are doing early warp dynamics studies on the upgraded Constitution-class vessels…
You can check out the results at the University of Queensland’s Laser Diagnostics site.
“We Are Klingons! (Aaarrrrr!!)”
I know that this post will be completely uninteresting to those who don’t watch any “Star Trek”, but I was thinking randomly this morning while working on another used car ad, and my mind turned to last week’s episode of “Enterprise”.
You know, I became quite weary of Klingons during the late seasons of “Next Generation”. It’s not so much their politics, cultural attitudes, manners etc. that I directly mind – it’s just that I wonder how the heck Klingons ever managed to become a space-faring race with a large empire.
I mean, is it only humans that actually face risks and difficulties in space travel? Imagine, if you will, “Next Generation” as a series about a Klingon ship, maybe the “Battlecruiser Vengeance” (that’s an in-joke, btw.)
“Encounter at Farpoint” – the crew of the Vengeance meet Q, who challenges them to prove that they aren’t a savage, child race. They fail, and in pique, he curses them with the inability to actually die permanenly. (They’ll need that curse.)
“The Naked Now” – Investigating a lost ship near an unstable star, the Vengeance contracts the “drunken” virus. The crew start slaughtering each other, until the last two or three are killed by the explosion of the star.
“Where No Klingon Has Gone Before” – An alien Traveler accidentally gets the resurrected Vengeance crew lost in another dimension. After his first attempt to get them home fails, they kill him, and wander uselessly in this dimension until they starve to death.
“Q Who?” – The captain of the Vengeance is too proud to ask Q for help against the new race he has introduced them to – the Borg. The Klingons shoot the Borg a lot, and the Borg effortlessly snuff them out.
You see the pattern? All Klingons know how to do is shoot and bully, and you’d think that in the Star Trek reality of the 22-24th centuries, that wouldn’t keep them going too long…
Sometimes I can’t help but start thinking about these things. I don’t think even medication would stop it. 🙂
On a sadder note, condolences to you, Barb. I only met Dan a couple of times, but I really enjoyed his Zetra-stuff. He will be missed!
