Little one
This weekend was exhausting. Amazing, but exhausting.
We had a lot of cleaning to do before our guests arrived this weekend. Starr did a lot of it, but I tried to pull my weight. We established Friday’s high point when I received a panicked call at work letting me know that Midori had pulled the gerbil cage from the bookshelf and smashed it. Starr finally managed to catch two traumatized but unharmed gerbils, and I screwed the replacement cage to the bookcase… so there, cat.
Why all the kerfuffle? Well, we had a rather special little boy and his parents coming by. Owen is observant, intelligent, cheerful, and energetic; and Starr gave birth to him four years ago, giving him up to a couple in a much better position at the time to give him a stable home.
I hadn’t really been aware of “open adoption” before. The idea is that the adoptive parents keep the birth mother in their life, trading phone calls, email, and pictures, and even getting together when possible. Owen has grown up thinking of Starr as a relative who loves him a lot, and I suppose that one day, when he asks very specific questions, he’ll get straight answers.
The idea sounds good; an extra close relative in a child’s life has to be a bonus, and when he’s a teenager trying to figure out who he is, he’ll have immediate answers to many of the questions I imagine an adopted child might ask. On the other hand, I can see how the relationships involved might need more work on everyone’s part than normal. On the gripping hand, I have some experience of my own with unusual relationships, and I feel the effort’s well worth making. I suppose time will tell how it all works out.
More importantly for the time being, Owen was a joy to meet. I’m spoiled by precocious kids like him and Bethany… perhaps it has just as much to do with the parents’ determination to raise him as something more than a yard ape. His parents were pretty awesome too; we got along from the beginning, and it only got better when Paul and I started Mac geeking together. Starr reported later that they thought I was a pretty decent guy.
(Actually, they called me ‘grounded’. Is there anyone here who knows me who’d have picked the adjective ‘grounded’ to describe me?)
I greatly enjoyed the day and a half of time with Owen and Paul and Susan; Starr’s mom joined us as well. However, all that time of socializing and trying to keep up with a 4-year-old drained me dry. I took a somewhat unwilling nap on Sunday afternoon, and craved a quiet night of WoW afterwards. Wouldn’t have missed it though, and Starr’s center returned to her after a week of pure frantic. At least next weekend ought to be a bit quieter.
A bit.
Tags: family, midori-neko, starr
(Actually, they called me ‘grounded’. Is there anyone here who knows me who’d have picked the adjective ‘grounded’ to describe me?)
Only when unintentionally completing an electrical circuit 😉
I’ve heard stories of open adoption before, and while it can certainly get complicated, I think it may be much healthier in the long run. The girl I dated in High School always knew she was adopted, and her parents kept in touch with her birth parents and let her decide when it was time to meet. Throughout high school and onward she split her time between the families and had a wonderful time.
(Actually, they called me ‘grounded’. Is there anyone here who knows me who’d have picked the adjective ‘grounded’ to describe me?)
Only when unintentionally completing an electrical circuit 😉
Here I was going to say that I’m sure you’re very well-grounded when you’re wearing a static strap.
My situation is similar to Owen’s but with a twist. I too am an adopted child, but what most don’t know is that my biological mother and the mother who adopted me are sisters.
I was told at 4 that I was adopted but wasn’t told until i was 25 who my biological mother was. Talking about keeping tabs on you, my bio mom lives on the other end of town from my mom.
I consider my bio mom my aunt, i have called her aunt all my life, even after I found out, I still call her aunt. Does she know that I know, don’t know. Will I ever tell her, probably not. She wasn’t the person that kissed my scraped knees, or baked chocolate pies, or taught me how to make chili.
I think it’s a good thing what Owen has going, should give him a stable life. However, there will come a time, when he will start asking questions on who he is, just be ready for straight forward answer, cause it sounds like he is a pretty smart little boy.
Glad it worked out well.
*hugs*