Curiously, the last thing the squirrel thought was, “Oh no, not again.”
Ready for more LHC humor? (Beats the uninformed paranoia, right?)
Evolutionary Acceleration Research Institute Ready to Start “Squirrel Smasher”
Dallas, TX – Scientists from the Evolutionary Acceleration Research Institute (EARI) announced that the first test of the Giant Animal Smasher (GAS) will begin on December 19, 2008, the 41st anniversary of the premiere of Dr. Dolittle.
Dr. Thomas Malwin, head of the research project, said, “The first test runs will only accelerate microscopic life-forms like bacteria and viruses to high speeds, but theoretically the GAS can handle animals as large as squirrels, hence the ‘squirrel smasher’ moniker.”
Biologists from around the globe hope the GAS will unlock the secrets of the so-called “Darwin particle” that could unlock the secrets to life.
“If we discover the Darwin particle we could possibly create new life-forms, or accelerate evolution to unimaginable levels,” said Malwin.
The GAS is a 25 mile tube buried ten feet below the surface, and accelerates the animals at rates up to 6,000 meters per second using a series of pulleys, levers and fusion reactors.
Think of the possible discoveries, not only in the field of evolutionary biology, but also those of children’s book illustration, furry fandom, and perplexing Far Eastern toy manufacture!
Yes, this is humor. No, no one is actually advocating doing this. Oy.
Brief updates
- 12:15 Retweet @Ihnatko: Good: LHC went live and did not destroy ALL reality. Bad: I’m the only one who remembers President Gore’s 2 terms. #
Sent subspace radio by LoudTwitter
Travellers
LiveJournal seems a little slow today. Wonder what their servers are dealing with.
Got a nice evening walk in last night, 1.66 miles according to the GMaps Pedometer, though I swear it felt like 2. Turned out that the exercise was a good thing; right after we got back, Dwight called, and invited us out for sushi and hibachi. Starr wore her new Questionable Content kitty shirt I got her. I told the story of the time that a bunch of us went to a hibachi place in Roanoke, and as we were served, we all eagerly grasped our chopsticks… except for the Japanese exchange student with us, who matter-of-factly picked up her fork.
You’d think that with all the exercise, I’d have slept great last night. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. While Starr said something this morning that cheered me, the weariness is still nibbling away at me. I think I may be naughty and pick up a Coke or two today.
This weekend we will be leaving Portsmouth around 7 or 8 p.m. and driving to Blacksburg. Saturday morning, we’ll be catching up with some of Starr’s family that will be in the general area, Saturday evening we’ll visit my Mom, and then Sunday we’ll be heading to my old house to survey what needs to be done to move Mom back in when she’s ready. Then we’ll drive back to Portsmouth. I may be pretty liberal with the caffeine this weekend as well.
We’ve got work to do
Meme from lemonlye:
When you read this, quote Doctor Who in your LiveJournal.
The Doctor: I don’t suppose you’ve completely ignored my instructions and secretly prepared any Nitro-9, have you?
Ace: What if I had?
The Doctor: And naturally, you wouldn’t do anything so insanely dangerous as to carry it around with you, would you?
Ace: Of course not. I’m a good girl and do what I’m told.
The Doctor: Excellent. Blow up that vehicle.
– “Silver Nemesis”
(I resisted the urge to quote my own fanfic. Aren’t I well-behaved?)
Seven Words Ain’t Enough
Lots of people have posted about George Carlin’s passing. I’ll miss the man; he and Steve Martin were the first two comedians whose albums my parents took away from me 🙂
Much has been made of his dark, often nihilistic humor lately, but many seem to miss that it was the humor of a disappointed idealist who knows that people are better than this, dammit, and hopes like hell that they’ll remember it in time.
The Soul For Getting Down
meiran posted this. It’s silly, it’s fanservice… and it’s joyously wonderful.
Stay Cool
Wow. I was sick yesterday, and Starr’s sick today. Awesome. It might very well have been dehydration on both our parts, though I drink more water these days than I have in years.
I need to watch the latest Doctor Who very soon, it is apparently most excellent, and the net is bursting with spoilers that I am carefully avoiding. Stephen Moffat may be the best Who writer on the new show, responsible for The Empty Child / The Doctor Dances, The Girl In the Fireplace, and Blink; I’m not displeased at all that he’s in charge of 2010’s Series Five. The “Everybody lives!!” line still gets me right ‘there’.
And now, this year’s zombie meme:
You are in a mall when the zombies attack. You have:
1. one weapon.
2. one song blasting on the speakers.
3. one famous person to fight alongside you.
* Weapon can be real or fictional; you may assume endless ammo if applicable. Person can be real or fictional.
1) Phaser II, set to “vaporise”. With endless ammo, I can just hold down the trigger and sweep.
2) Queen, “Flight of the Hawkmen” (starts at about 1:08 in the video)
3) Tim the Enchanter (I think his skills would be well matched to the situation.)
Starr’s list:
1) Sonic Screwdriver (“I’m sure it has a ‘defeat zombies’ setting.”)
2) Meredith Brooks, “Bitch”
3) Kal-El
There’s a Bun in the Toaster
Just so no one accuses me of never having anything good to say about the new Galactica, this 8-minute “What the Frak Is Up With BSG?” video from the SciFi Channel is awesome. I hope it’s the brainchild of the production team, and not the SciFi Channel marketing department.
And the BSG cast doing a Letterman Top 10 List:
Thank goodness for a franchise with a sense of humor!
Must – Control – Jaws – of Death…
The cat wishes everyone to know that he was highly paid for this television appearance. The hamster… would like some more carrot bits please.
Game blogger Tobold suggests that WoW players would reach endgame with far better raiding skills if there were quests where you had to practice raiding with sets of NPCs. Aside from the time pressures, one reason I don’t do instances is that I’m not very good at them, and I think this is a fine idea. When I do have to hit an instance dungeon for a quest, I usually end up in the company of several far-higher-levelled guild mates, and my presence becomes a bit unnecessary. This idea would mitigate the problem a bit.
rhaps and shrewlet are coming down this weekend, which is a good thing because my Technicon experience was extremely rushed. I envy Rhaps’ new iMac, which is the same model as my Mom’s. But I’ll have my Mac Pro soon enough.
Paying bills, finishing paperwork, getting all sorts of ducks in a row this week. (They were sitting out front again this morning, enjoying the humid weather.) It all feels good. Also: new blender yay 🙂
